Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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