dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
