i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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