You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
