I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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