this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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