hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
