I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
