you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He passed out mid-signature
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
