I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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