I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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