.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize