Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
