he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
where does the pee come out of this thing
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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