your thong is hanging out like whoa
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
