Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
this is an emotional support booty call
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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