my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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