Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
