Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
