dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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