He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize