we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
