is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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