I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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