I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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