It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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