question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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