TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I AM VODKA MAN
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
