...so i touched it.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
