Can i not drive my cunt home
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
