If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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