you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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