i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
