did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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