Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
