How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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