i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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