U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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