Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
