What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize