I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize