I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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