She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
