what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my sisters under your porch take her home
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize