Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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