This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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