the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
