ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
