I'm eating all of the evidence.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize