I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
