please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Congratulations! We have a period
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize