will power is for people who don't want to get laid
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
