I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
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She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
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The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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