I cockslap morals
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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