you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
