2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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