The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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