small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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