return my video game
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize
