can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
