can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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