We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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