Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
