dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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