Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
