I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
