WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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