I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
